boyfriends, breakups, and bitches: part the second

my life history in relationships, continued

I promised that this story wouldn’t stay depressing so I guess I ought to just go on and tell you about the several relationships I had during the time that I humorously like to call “the great in-between.” not really, I just made that up.

the first person I dated after A left me was… okay, I’m having a little trouble on what to call this one. I don’t want to go with just D for probably obvious reasons, but at the same time I don’t want the lovely people that read this blog to miss out on the ongoing joke that is my apparent problem with cities in Texas. A’s full first name is a city in texas, and so is this guy’s… so I’ll just go with calling him Fort Worth. he’ll probably chuckle when he reads this. but yeah, that’s the joke, that if I meet a guy whose name is a city in Texas, I’ll inevitably end up dating him. my computer’s name is Houston.

in any case, Fort Worth and I didn’t ever really officially date. he claimed to be “courting” me, though really that’s only because I told him I didn’t want to be in a relationship and when you say “dating” people assume you’re in a relationship.

(funny story–Fort Worth and I were hanging out with a bunch of friends at the mall this one time, and being the idiots that we are we decided it was a great idea to go chill on the couches in Crate & Barrel. being that that store is a pretty upscale furniture store and they really didn’t want a bunch of do-nothing rowdy kids crowding up their store, one of the saleswomen there really wanted to kick us out. apparently I looked like the most reasonable one of the bunch, because she came up to me and asked if we were planning on making any purchases. I smiled embarrassedly at her and shook my head, then said “we should probably leave, shouldn’t we” and she said in one of those crazy super sweet but clearly pissed off voices “yes, I think you should.” so I had to be the one who rounded up the rest of us and left. seriously, don’t get yourself kicked out of Crate & Barrel.)

anyways, that went on for a little while, but all of my parents basically hated the guy and frankly I wasn’t too interested either. so that didn’t last. but of course Fort Worth insisted he was in love with me and I basically told him that he needed to stop defining himself by the person he was dating instead of being his own person. he basically got really pissed at me, and I kind of just told him “well good luck then” and left him alone.

of course, since no one ever follows my advice until they’ve up and gotten themselves into a terrible situation and finally realize how right I was (wow just read over that–it sounded super egotistical but OH WELL), he came back to me several months later after being in a stupid relationship with the school slut. he told me I was right and that he had been doing exactly what I’d said, and told me that he was going to try and straighten things out and figure out who he really was.

so that ended on a relatively good note, at least.

after that, I found myself accidentally agreeing to being in a relationship with a gay guy that only lasted for the weekend.

you might ask how you accidentally end up in a relationship, but really it was easier than it sounds. so this guy (who is very flamboyantly gay) walks up to me in the hall and states simply “hey, we should go out.” now, this isn’t exactly unusual behavior for him, he says silly things and jokes around all the time. so I, assuming he was just joking as usual, laugh and say “sure, let’s go out,” to which he asks me if I’m serious.

I turned to him and said, “wait. dude, you’re gay.”

to which he cheerily replied, “I know” and continued to tell me about how he was in his “bi week” and how he wanted to try dating a girl to see if he was bi. after all, you never know until you try.

I won’t fail to mention that this was on Friday. it took him the entire week to work up the courage to ask me out, and it meant that there were only three days left of his bi week for us to go out during. and it was fun, and funny. so he toted me around for that Friday and made a big show of kissing me and all that just to prove to all the haters that he was trying it. but in the end, on Monday morning, we sort of walked up to each other, and agreed that his trial run should be over because, well, he is definitely gay.

so that was the second relationship, if you can really call either of them relationships, that I had after A broke up with me. but this post is getting long again, so I’ll cut it off here–with the promise that there are two more relationships between the next events regarding A, and after that a relatively nice ending at my current state of being.

so goodnight, dear readers, however numerous you are, and I hope you enjoyed the second installation of boyfriends, breakups, and bitches. ♥

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