it’s so much

sometimes it feels like I have everything under control, but then other days I feel like I’m utterly lost and alone.

why do I feel this way? I’m not alone… but I always feel so empty…

it probably doesn’t help that everyone seems to want me but they don’t want me.

and the few people that I want are all too complicated. K, the one I’d love to be with, who is taken. I don’t need to elaborate on that story, it’s been said and it doesn’t need to be said again. now there’s JD, a new guy who caught my interest. maybe he likes me, maybe he doesn’t. I really can’t tell. and even if something could happen, I don’t know what to expect from him, what we would be like together. I don’t know what he’s looking for… and there’s people I think are cute, and people I think are fun or interesting, and people who need me, and it’s so much.

why is it that people seem to need me so often, why is it that I have to be everyone else’s support when I can hardly hold myself up?

it’s so much, and sometimes I feel like I’m starting to cave from all this pressure.

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